I remember a time where all I wanted was to succeed and have the world look up to me.
You know, celebrity status but without the drama, drugs, and scandals.
I would sit in my room at night, hoping and wishing that success would find me.
If I only had………then my life would be different.
If this hadn’t happened……….then nothing would be as it is right now.
If I could………..then things would be amazing.
I looked all around.
- At people
- At places
- At things
- At buildings
- At my dogs
And wondered how success found them (yes, even my dogs) but it hadn’t found me.
I blamed everything that I could for why success hadn’t found me.
I wondered if I was alone.
It took me a long time to figure it out how and why success found everything but me.
From it, I learned two things:
- Success didn’t find them, they found it
- Luck has little to do with it. You can’t underestimate hard work
From there, I learned lesson after hard lesson on how to achieve success.
Your definition of success
Finding success is impossible without a clear definition of what success is.
Is your success having 2 kids?
Is it a happy, and healthy marriage?
How about helping others?
Is it traveling the world?
What about doing what you love?
Whatever it is for you, figure it out, define it, and write it down.
Decide how it happens
When you look at others and see success, how have you decided they achieved it?
You think that it was won.
They must have participated in a contest and came out on top.
They were lucky.
They must have been born into success or it magically happened to them. They were seemingly given all the opportunity, while you were given none.
It was earned.
The only true way to success. They know that working at something is the surest way to success.
Now you’re on the right track.
Your mindset is the key to everything success.
Do you think for a moment that Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, or Mark Zuckerberg told themselves that they don’t stand a chance at succeeding?
Not a chance.
What they did tell themselves, however, was that they are the best at what they do. From there they went out and proved it to the world.
When you talk to yourself about success, what are you saying? Do you say that it might happen? Or do you say that it will happen? Only one of these is an acceptable answer.
Do any of these sound familiar to you?
- No education
- Had children too young
- Not knowing the right people
- Borrowed too much money
- I don’t know how to do that
- I can’t miss my favorite show on television
“Your excuses are just the lies your fears have sold you.”
You’re not alone. Excuses are made to protect oneself.
Yes, protect. You make excuses when there is a chance that you’ll feel some sort of shame. Excuses act as a barrier against that shame.
Think about this.
You’re at work and are called into a meeting with your manager. They begin to question you about your latest project and why it wasn’t as successful as it should have been.
Rather than face the shame of admitting that it didn’t work, you quickly begin to tell them that it is because of:
- The market
- Other people
- The timing
Even though you know that it was actually:
- Lack of focus
Understand when excuses are made, your progress is hindered.
I’m a victim
Aren’t we all?
What are you a victim of?
- Your birthplace
- Who your friends are
- Where you receive your education
- Your upbringing
- Your childhood
Nothing takes away your power more than telling yourself that you are a victim of something. Just because your past is littered with unfavorable circumstances, it doesn’t mean that you have to carry them forward.
The most cliché thing an athlete will say in the after game interview is that they take each loss one game at a time.
Why do they say it?
They don’t have a choice. If they blame last night’s loss for tonight’s game, they will quickly be out of a job.
Get the ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ out
Are there two worse two words in our language than ‘should’ and ‘could’? Both open up the possibility of an excuse and are nearly always followed by the word ‘but’.
- I SHOULD read that book, BUT my favorite show is on television.
- I SHOULD clean the house, BUT I don’t have the energy.
- I SHOULD finish painting that wall, BUT I want to hang out with my friends.
- I COULD do the dishes, BUT I don’t feel like it
- I COULD work on my side project, BUT it isn’t very fun
- I COULD take the dog for a walk, BUT it’s cold outside
The mere presence of ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ in your language will take you away from what you really want in life.
Up to now, recognize that society taught you this way.
Let’s assume that as a child you had to do a report for school or take the garbage out. When you didn’t finish it/do it on time, the conversation probably went something like this:
Parent/Teacher: “What happened?”
You: Explain what happened and why it happened
Parent/Teacher: “What should have happened?”
Parent/Teacher:“What could you have done to prevent it from happening”
You: Stuck in an endless rut of ‘should’ and ‘coulds’.
Learn from this. Moving forward, instead of using “I should” or “I could”, be more definitive. Try using “I will” or “I won’t”.
Cheers to your success,
This article is one part of a 3 part series I did on success. I have translated it into a downloadable PDF for you to read. Inside the PDF there is more wholesome goodness and information on top of what is already here. Get it here: