How To Make It So Success Has No Choice But To Find You

Success

I remember a time where all I wanted was to succeed and have the world look up to me.

You know, celebrity status but without the drama, drugs, and scandals.

I would sit in my room at night, hoping and wishing that success would find me.

If I only had………then my life would be different.

If this hadn’t happened……….then nothing would be as it is right now.

If I could………..then things would be amazing.

I looked all around.

  • At people
  • At places
  • At things
  • At buildings
  • At my dogs

And wondered how success found them (yes, even my dogs) but it hadn’t found me.

I blamed everything that I could for why success hadn’t found me.

  • Skill
  • Chance
  • Opportunity
  • Education
  • Network
  • Luck

I wondered if I was alone.

I wasn’t.

It took me a long time to figure it out how and why success found everything but me.

From it, I learned two things:

  1. Success didn’t find them, they found it
  2. Luck has little to do with it. You can’t underestimate hard work

From there, I learned lesson after hard lesson on how to achieve success.

DefinitionYour definition of success

Finding success is impossible without a clear definition of what success is.

Is your success having 2 kids?

3 kids?

4 kids?

Is it a happy, and healthy marriage?

How about helping others?

Money?

Is it traveling the world?

What about doing what you love?

Whatever it is for you, figure it out, define it, and write it down.

Decide how it happens

When you look at others and see success, how have you decided they achieved it?

You think that it was won.

They must have participated in a contest and came out on top.

They were lucky.

They must have been born into success or it magically happened to them. They were seemingly given all the opportunity, while you were given none.

It was earned.

The only true way to success. They know that working at something is the surest way to success.

Now you’re on the right track.

DefeatDefeated

Your mindset is the key to everything success.

Do you think for a moment that Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, or Mark Zuckerberg told themselves that they don’t stand a chance at succeeding?

Not a chance.

What they did tell themselves, however, was that they are the best at what they do. From there they went out and proved it to the world.

When you talk to yourself about success, what are you saying? Do you say that it might happen? Or do you say that it will happen? Only one of these is an acceptable answer.

Excuses

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

  • No education
  • Had children too young
  • Not knowing the right people
  • Borrowed too much money
  • I don’t know how to do that
  • I can’t miss my favorite show on television

“Your excuses are just the lies your fears have sold you.”

Robin Sharma

You’re not alone. Excuses are made to protect oneself.

Protect?

Yes, protect. You make excuses when there is a chance that you’ll feel some sort of shame. Excuses act as a barrier against that shame.

Think about this.

You’re at work and are called into a meeting with your manager. They begin to question you about your latest project and why it wasn’t as successful as it should have been.

Rather than face the shame of admitting that it didn’t work, you quickly begin to tell them that it is because of:

  • The market
  • Other people
  • The timing
  • Budget

Even though you know that it was actually:

  • Execution
  • Underestimation
  • Planning
  • Lack of focus

Understand when excuses are made, your progress is hindered.

VictimI’m a victim

Aren’t we all?

What are you a victim of?

  • Your birthplace
  • Who your friends are
  • Where you receive your education
  • Your upbringing
  • Your childhood

Nothing takes away your power more than telling yourself that you are a victim of something. Just because your past is littered with unfavorable circumstances, it doesn’t mean that you have to carry them forward.

The most cliché thing an athlete will say in the after game interview is that they take each loss one game at a time.

Why do they say it?

They don’t have a choice. If they blame last night’s loss for tonight’s game, they will quickly be out of a job.

Class

Get the ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ out

Are there two worse two words in our language than ‘should’ and ‘could’? Both open up the possibility of an excuse and are nearly always followed by the word ‘but’.

  • I SHOULD read that book, BUT my favorite show is on television.
  • I SHOULD clean the house, BUT I don’t have the energy.
  • I SHOULD finish painting that wall, BUT I want to hang out with my friends.
  • I COULD do the dishes, BUT I don’t feel like it
  • I COULD work on my side project, BUT it isn’t very fun
  • I COULD take the dog for a walk, BUT it’s cold outside

The mere presence of ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ in your language will take you away from what you really want in life.

Up to now, recognize that society taught you this way.

Let’s assume that as a child you had to do a report for school or take the garbage out. When you didn’t finish it/do it on time, the conversation probably went something like this:

Parent/Teacher: “What happened?”

You: Explain what happened and why it happened

Parent/Teacher: “What should have happened?”

You: Ummmm.

Parent/Teacher:“What could you have done to prevent it from happening”

You: Stuck in an endless rut of ‘should’ and ‘coulds’.

Learn from this. Moving forward, instead of using “I should” or “I could”, be more definitive. Try using “I will” or “I won’t”.

Cheers to your success,

Joel

 

This article is one part of a 3 part series I did on success. I have translated it into a downloadable PDF for you to read. Inside the PDF there is more wholesome goodness and information on top of what is already here. Get it here:

Otherwise, this article is continued over at Part 2 and finished at Part 3.

I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
YOU TOO?
TOGETHER WE CAN
About Joel Scott 87 Articles
I am a family man first and foremost. Everything that I do is for my family. They keep me focused and moving forward. My world was turned upside down when I visited Africa for the first time. That trip left me with a newfound purpose in life: To cause and create profound change in every corner of our world.
Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Erin Nicole Bick
Guest

You made some really great points here Joel!

I think in the past excuses were something I really let get me down & playing a victim.
Everything you said was a flash back to the way I used to think.

Once we start making decisions for ourselves… Decisions that are focused towards our ultimate goals and vision… WE are unstoppable!

Fantastic article! Thanks for sharing 🙂

Judith Francois
Guest

I really enjoyed this post. I am definitely guilty of the excuses sometimes for why I am not where I want to be. But you are right the way you think is very powerful when it comes to your success.

Thanks

Sherri Brown
Guest

Great tips, Joel. Having a right mindset in the beginning is the start of getting a long-term success.

Demetri Benton
Guest

This is an awesome post Joel. I wanted to be successful as well,but I didn’t want to work for it. I thought I would win the lottery. Silly me, right? That was many moons ago. I know today if I want success I have to earn it! Daydreaming will get me no where… I have to take action! Thanks for sharing

Monika
Guest

Down to Earth truth Joel. For me I find the toughest to get past is the what if I do and what if I don’! I am learning with the help of your writing to have a goals in life and to presue them with perseverance
and to have faith that I can do whatever it is I set
Y mind out to do!
I love your openess and honesty in your writing Joel😊
Monika

Dr. Lisa Thompson
Guest

Great post Joel!

Mindset is the foundation to all success!

Dr. Lisa

Darcy Berrington
Guest

Thanks Joel. This is good advice. I find often that I believe I’m on the right track but sometimes need to reset. It could be called tunnel vision but sometimes the work in front of us looks daunting so we just focus. Sometimes to a point where we don’t step back to see where we’re going.

Congrats on a great body of work. Talk soon.

Jane Love
Guest

Great post, Joel. You are completely right. Having the right mindset in life is very key. And one thing is certain – Procrastination-based mindsets are set on a course for failure.

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