A little under 2 years ago, my life took a sharp turn.
My wife and I had decided to start “trying” to get pregnant.
As we talked about it, one and only thought raced through my mind.
“Sex every day, three times a day, I’ve hit the jackpot!”
One week, three test strips, the words “I am pregnant” and I was left in a state of disbelief.
Utter shock, actually.
If you ask my wife what I was like after we found out she will tell you calm, indifferent, and without emotion.
This is slightly true. Aside from coming to terms with all the sex that I might be missing out on, I was busy calculating all the things dads think about.
While my wife spent the next 9 months preparing for what she was about to go through, I spent that time internalizing what was happening.
Every day I watched in amazement as she grew. With each day brought a series of questions:
One day it was:
Could we support this baby?
Are we ready to have a child?
The next day it turned into:
Will I make a good dad?
Will the baby like me?
All this was filled with the occasional bout of
What do I do when/if…?
It was more surreal than a Dali painting.
As I thought about my baby, I was concerned and frightened.
On September 14, 2015, none of that mattered. On that day, my son entered the world.
My son came into the world yelling and screaming. Almost as if he wanted the world know that he had arrived.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say, I gave a fist pump in my head when, as my Grandma called it, his “hooha” appeared.
I already knew I was having a boy, but his “hooha” confirmed it and I was pumped.
Finally, someone to help me shovel the driveway, cut the grass (sometimes), and do all the other jobs that I hate.
I fist pumped again, this time for the world to see.
Yes! No sleep
I will never forget the first night with him in the hospital.
Waking up for the 4th time in two hours I began to wonder what all parents wonder:
“What have I done? How long would this last? Are my best days of sleep behind me?”
I sat there concerned about my sleep when my wife was the one who had to feed him.
Yeah, I know. I was selfish.
I quickly learned that she was also the one that he wanted. It became apparent when he tried to cling to my nipple to feed…
Luckily for me and sadly for him, my supply was non-existent.
With that, I knew that she would be in for a much rougher ride than me. From that point on when I woke up, I looked over at her sleeping and was reminded of why I was awake.
While most parents I know are quick to take a picture of their child’s face when they see them for the first time, I chose not to.
Instead, as my hands shook, I steadied the camera and took a picture of his tiny hand, reaching out and grabbing my finger.
It was a moment that I will never forever.
How could I?
He knew that I was scared and found a way to tell me, “Dad, I got you. It’s going to be alright.”
12 months since
As I’m sure you can imagine, the last 12 months have been a rollercoaster. Every day that I get to watch him, I witness what exceptional really is.
Have there been trying times?
Have there been times where I just didn’t think I could get through it?
It crossed my mind as I wiped the urine from his “hooha” off of a curtain.
Would I ever trade it in?
Not a chance.
12 months ago he made a promise to me when he told me that it was going to be alright.
I’ve spent the last 12 months reciprocating that promise and I will spend my lifetime making sure it doesn’t get broken.
Cheers to your success,
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